Giving Compliments When You Have SAD

Giving Compliments When You Have SAD Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment and Therapy Social Skills Print Giving Compliments When You Have SAD By Arlin Cuncic Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder and 7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety. Learn about our editorial policy Arlin Cuncic Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on December 11, 2015 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on April 29, 2019 Social Anxiety Disorder Overview Symptoms & Diagnosis Causes Treatment Living With In Children Compliments should be sincere. Pixabay / PublicDomainPictures / 18043 Images Compliments are less likely to be given by people who suffer from social anxiety than those who are naturally comfortable in social situations. However, by learning the rules of giving good compliments, and putting them into practice daily, you can become just as adept at giving praise. Giving compliments is an important social skill to learn because it is a great way to start conversations, develop social bonds and reduce anxiety about communicating. 9 Steps to Giving Great Compliments Dont give out compliments randomly. You should genuinely  believe the compliment or it will come across as insincere.Give specific rather than general compliments. Instead of Your kitchen looks great, say something like, Your kitchen looks great, I really like your new cabinetry and hardware.Just as in receiving compliments, giving compliments helps you start a conversation. You might add in, Where did you get the cabinets from or Who installed your kitchen?Consider the setting and your relationship with the person to make sure that the compliment is appropriate. Comments of a personal nature should only be offered to close friends in private settings.Use creative and unusual words instead of everyday ones. Which would stay with you longerâ€"Your new dress is really nice or Your new dress is fabulous! I love the fabric, it is really eye-catching!Take opportunities to compliment character traits  rather than appearance, as these types of compliments are rarely heard. For example, comp liment a mother on her compassion for her children or a teacher on his ability to keep students motivated.Be willing to give constructive criticism. Compliments  mean more when the other person knows that you arent afraid to also be honest about faults.Dont be afraid to compliment people in authority. People in power tend to receive fewer compliments and you might be pleasantly surprised at the response you receiveâ€"the person will probably welcome the positive feedback.When complimenting someone with low self-esteem, it may be better to avoid inflated praise and to compliment behavior rather than personal characteristics. Research has shown that when children with low self-esteem are given inflated praise or praise about their personal characteristics, it tends to backfire, making them worry about future failures or avoid future challenges. Once you have mastered the art of giving compliments, you may find that you are also better at gracefully receiving compliments. Remember, whether giving or receiving, compliments should always be a positive experience. Research on Compliments and Social Anxiety Disorder In one small study of 17 individuals with generalized social phobia from 2008, it was shown that those with the disorder had physiological reactions to negative comments (criticism) but not to positive or neutral comments. While you cant control what others say to youâ€"why not consider controlling what you say to yourself? Negative thoughts are not that different from criticism from others. Think of it this way: every time you think a negative thought about yourself, you are potentially causing yourself distress. Instead, try thinking positive or neutral thoughts about yourself to promote better emotional stability and well-being. Catch yourself every time you have a negative thought about yourself, and replace it with a positive or neutral one. While at first, this might feel awkward, over time it will become more automatic.